You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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