I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just pee around me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
