Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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