Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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