so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
