so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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