ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
