Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
