i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
