Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
