My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
