anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
