i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
