census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
