Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
