Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
