Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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