You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It's just like the Real World with babies
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
