Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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