I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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