There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
