Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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