You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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