Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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