I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
