when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
no, he came in my armpit
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
