Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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