i just wanna soil my oats bro
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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