it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
