everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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