Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
