WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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