you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
