I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
