is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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