I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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