No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
