swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
