You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
