blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
