are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think i got beer on your cat.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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