Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
