"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
BRING THE BAGELS
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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