I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
