Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
