Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
