No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
