even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
