Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
