sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
