That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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