i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
