To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize